Tuesday, June 17, 2008

others speaking of.for.better (than) me

No tempting them, who are beyond______idly, on the hinge
temptation, with the scent___________ _of a second thought turn
of herbs, old clothes, suitcases,______ _ _back, and we are caught.

no calling
those who have no name___________________David Malouf
they'd wish to step back into.______________from: An Essay on Angels (the Short Version)

They are past all that and that
is all we have: names, hold-alls,
smell and ghost-smell

of where we were or would be.
Their gift is being
where they are. Waiting for breath

to release us, we fall
towards them; idly
distracted, they turn away. Then

Running Amok, ezine

an astrology book today, organized by dates, here's the reading for my birthday:

Obstinate and difficult. Hard to get you to do anything. If one knows your weaknesses easy to manipulate. Likely to be happily married.


____-That's not depressing (not).
____-Do you think the final point follows from the immediately preceding criticism?


all things I want to say tonight I'm not going to say. This is not Entropy Pieces, this is the Submerged Submersible, that means I cannot say Entropy Pieces things here. ___(in that case I haven't much that can be said tonight).
___If you want to know how I feel, you'd have to listen to this. (make no mistake, it's incredible)

Everything I want to say relates to the poem... but I do not know how to appropriately 'hide' my words. I cannot bare myself here too openly, we had problems in the past.


He calls me from a bar. Puts a girl on the phone. If the voice is anything to go by, she's terribly attractive. I have trouble making out words, there's lots of laughing. I hear a... careless happiness being transmitted to me through invisible frequency airwaves. I can't tonight. That's a lie, the truth is: I probably can't for another few months (should I live that long). (if, after a few months I am still alive, and I am still me, and frankly, I'm not sure who this me that I've become even is, and if he'd even want to join you...then I'll come.) I really want to (that's completely true... I reallly want to). - You're just brushing me off now dude! I've been calling you all week! (from parties, bars, clubs, lounges... all sorts of fun situations I can't remember the last time I was a part of). Hey, no, dude, bear with me, it's kinda a tough time for me right now... I'm doing my best. (true). Whatever, get in your car and drive here! (a. it's not my car, I share it with my everybody, b. you're 80 minutes away). Dude, it's not that far! (it really is) (and I'm scared) (if I drive that far, I won't drive back)

can you hear me now?


I have made approximately 34 lists of resolutions between October 2007 and today. None of them ever lived to be relevant beyond a week. The first batch all assumed I'd still be living in one continent. The second batch all assumed I'd go ahead with my plan of moving to a trailer in the middle of nowhere and being a gas-station attendant till the end of my life, and the third batch are about as relevant to Tuesday as last Sunday's dinner.

(I did not know it when I sent it to you, but... I was right, hearts_ c a n _be made of mondays; and my phrase only makes sense to me, tonight for the first time, because you explained it to me those days ago) (and my heart tonight is made of a monday)


"When size really counts,"
the billboard says

showing the product

in one corner,

so we need to search for it.
Come find me.

I stand behind these words.

____from: Almost, by Rae Armantrout


The truth of the matter is, cat's got my tongue. I'm tied up pretty hard-ball right now, and I can't let go. Not for the world to see. Not for myself to see. In other words:

It takes a village to read a poem.

The patter of petunias is marmalade.

Everybody's got to be somewhere.

Save the last chance for me.

____from: Sign Under Test, by Charles Bernstein

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