Monday, September 29, 2008

reasons not to stay awake listening to Radiohead because of disablity to sleep at 2am, A List:

  1. when i wake up it will hurt
  2. paranoia , fear , self-loathing , misanthropy ,
  3. the need to get up and eat cereal every 2 hours. (9pm, 11pm, 1am, 3am)
  4. memory is the most alive thing about me , this is her kingdom , i am not welcome
  5. variations in light , gravity , volume of breathable air makes it hard to sustain life on this planet
  6. the discard button in gmail provokes pt 2
  7. i have nothing to write about . i will not think of anything to write about . i shouldn't try soo hard . i try too hard . i should give up . 2:18am is a good time to give up on (every)things . (every)things. (every)things. (why does everything echo like that?)
  8. every 2am i decide to sabotage myself beyond repair . sooner or later i will . i should not lie awake planning self-destruction ; it seems partially unhealthy
  9. there is the tendency to forget that other things also exist at this hour
  10. blanket and sheets form somewhat suffocating combinations when combined with rotational motion
  11. the cats fight outside . every . single . night
  12. one cannot see stars through the ceiling
  13. discovery is not a process i much admire anymore
  14. (self)discovery is a process i loathe
  15. my bed feels larger , and grows . i feel smaller , and shrink . there is a decided emphasis on the unitary mass in this bed - it is a creature that converts pure air to yellow , muffles sweet silence with grunts , hums like a machine (is a refrigerator that buzzes in a foreign house you must sleep in as a guest) , and all the while i'm certain i'm decaying into a mass of shed hair , cut nails , and waste-air
  16. i cannot get full breaths of air . i am practicing for the heart-attack that will eventually kill me some 30-50 years from now
  17. there is no one to say night fu&*ing sucks to
  18. (the best song on this album is Life in a Glasshouse, the last song) there is a strange physiological tendency to make me go to the bathroom every 68 minutes even though i'm not drinking anything
  19. nothing is as depressing as the bored aphrodisiacs of 2am lamps and bedside tables and notebooks and CD cases coming apart like lepers who want nothing more than to see me sink into a black pit i won't emerge from
  20. i will wake up late tomorrow . this will prevent me from getting to Marion in time. this means i could miss the good sessions of Harold and Kumar (i am using that to make tomorrow appealing to me) , tomorrow will not be appealing anymore
  21. there is no good news at 2am (ever)
(the CD is finished. if i stop now i have a chance...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

RE - 21:
baby is on her way...
(is possible to find good news everywhere)