Friday, December 19, 2008

2008... an assortment of random thingisms








____I long to talke with some old lover's ghost,

____Donne














david foldvari


____1. confession.

Where there is love, nothing is too much trouble and there is always time makes me mad. it was the argument she always used against me. and i'd say, no dear, this has nothing to do with love, or with time, it simply is not a good plan... it just doesn't add up. see? and she'd say: no. (just like that, she had a way of saying it sforzando, like those Brahms orchestral chords that sound like jabs) no, this is about love and time, because if this is love, nothing is too much trouble (nothing doesn't leave room for your exceptions), and you'll just have to make the time. if you loved me you would. and i'd think to myself: i do love you, but love is not an excuse to do stupid things and justify extraneous subjects and courses... love is not immune to the forces of trouble and time... and i was right. in the end, trouble and time were more always there, and were too much trouble, and where love is is in a vacuum space that alleverything can encroach on. and eventually, no one knows where love is. love is not in a where.


____2. q music awards

Best albums of 2008:
For Emma, Forever Ago, Bon Iver
Invol2ver
, Sasha
Lupe Fiasco's the Cool, Lupe Fiasco
Oracular Spectacular, MGMT
Cove, A Weather
Third, Portishead
In Rainbows, Radiohead

Best single songs of 2008:
Re: Stacks, Bon Iver
Kids, MGMT
Destroy Everything You Touch (Sasha's Invol2ver Remix), Ladytron
Oh My Stars, A Weather
Videotape, Radiohead

Album from 2007 that's still most cool:
23, Blonde Redhead
Silent Alarm, Bloc Party


____3.
whatever this is, this life of starting work at 7am, and cut hands and bruised knees, and working till 8-9pm... this life of coughing up sawdust and dreaming (literally) of angles and gyprock and circular saw techniques, whatever it is... could this be happiness?


____4.
i have little to write about these days. it is not writer's block, so much as... writer having found himself in a state of bland whiteness where nothing presses itself as a need to be written. social contact has all but disappeared and is limited to my one friend, with whom i sit and watch whatever episode we're up to of Weeds, and since i cannot write (or read), sitting at the Starbucks at the corner of broadbeach and shamelessly people watching for no more than 45 minutes because at that point i start to feel lonely and leave. and yet, this beautiful, pale sense of nothing.whatever.ness that makes everything so ok it's simply... not even a thing anymore. i am desiccating life.


____5. (at the hardware store:

__Q: does this silicon dry translucent?
lady: whahuh?
__Q: um ... transparent, is it see-through
lady: oh. see-through, i had no idea what you were saying
__Q: yeah. translucent is a word that means see-through.
lady: why don't you just say see-through?
__Q: because see-through is a phrase that people who didn't know about the world translucent invented.
lady: oh. well, that includes me then doesn't it?
__Q: yes. it does.
lady: this silicon will dry... transparent?, what was that word?
__Q: translucent.
lady: what's transparent then? why invent two words for the same thing? hey?! Hey?! (feeling smart)
__Q: actually, a transparent substance you can see clearly through, you'd be able to see disctict images. translucent substances allow light to pass, but any images will be blurry. so it kinda lets some light pass through. i just used transparent as a rough synonym because i thought it might get the idea across.
lady: ok, i have to stop talking to you, you just said another weird word.
__Q: yeah. i definitely need to move.
lady: huh?


____6.
dear people who read this blog whoever you are:
in the next bracket of time, i anticipate further trouble coming up with writing ideas. so. should you have a topic you'd like to see me treat, or... want to collaborate on something or whatever, email me, comment, get in touchy touchy. send me essay topics. send me words or quotes that might trigger something. blah blah blah. if you don't, i'll eventually sit down and (losing control) will say everything it is i have to say about the year 2008 (think of it as a closing address). here's an abridged version: mother-fu*&ing die! die! die!. so. save us both from that.

2 comments:

Ghetto Blaster said...

you forgot Fat Freddy's Drop

golriz said...

nearly one year ago our worlds collided and we actually landed in the same exact location at the same exact time.

we sat outside a room. on steps. at tables drinking endless cups of tea. and talked about it all. about the bittersweet incoherency of it all. it was all fresh. the cuts raw and in a state of repair. we were hopeful but cautious.

it's amazing for me to think back to what i was going through. one year can make all the difference.

i know you are stamping on the dying embers of 2008 and i wish you well as you embrace 2009 with all your might. and if you need to write your rant i'll still read it. though i think you summed it up quite nicely.