Sunday, December 28, 2008

Peripheral Love Stories, Mikrokosmos

__And the coolness of your smile is
__stirringofbirds between my arms;but
__i should rather than anything
__have(almost when hugeness will shut
______________your kiss

______EE Cummings

untitled by .littlegirlblue

my shoulders hurt, so i think about that. imagine striations of muscle. it's not sunny, but the humid air seems to lick at me and i'm sweating. the recent callouses on my palms protect me and the shovel feels fine in my hands as i take spoonfools to feed the wheelbarrow. i like the sound it makes, each thrust into the massive dirt mound. i like its textures. i imagine i'm a coal-miner. a geologist on a far-flung planet. a man digging a grave. he's still talking. he pants in between sentences, sometimes mid-sentence, but he keeps talking. i'm just workin man, just saving up, just saving up ('what for?' i offer; as long as he's talking, he's not asking questions) my brother's married, ya know? he's got three kids. he makes a good living. he has a life, that's what life's all about right? (he stopped working all together, holds the shovel steady in his hands, gathers himself up as though he had something lightning to say) a house?... a car at very least. i just wanna have something. anything. (to show for myself. Now i stop what i'm doing and look at him. i remember him when he was 13. and at 25 i say 'i know that feeling brother'. and abruptly turn and push my wheelbarrow on before my words have a chance to reach the far bank.

someone's got their ipod connected. there's a mad rush to show each other up with songs. a hustle and bustle as people say yeah, but have you heard it live? or yeah, but have you heard Aimee Mann's cover? someone says, dude, you have to check this out and three guitar strums in, someone from the back says firmly: no. __not this song. turn it off. __now. (and everyone's heard it anyway, so they skip on and argue about top-5 lists), and she says quietly to herself, i don't want to hear that song ever again.

he's just sitting there.
i know right
he doesn't smoke, or anything, he just... reads
who does that right?
and drinks his coffee, and reads
(of all things)
there's something up with him
totally, there's something totally up with him no one does that
no one
you think he has no friends?
maybe he's new in town
could be.
could be anything.
[look at each other, in a moment come to the same realization, and burst out laughing]

and after all that time, all he can think to say is, i wear glasses now. and she nods, and says without humor, yeah, i can see them on your face.

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