prayer / Die mit Tränen säen, werden mit Freuden ernten

____Caught a light sneeze
____Dreamed a little dream

________Tori Amos







untitled, JordiGual


i say this because i refuse to give up on the night. i say this because whenever i meet someone new i take their hand and put it on my chest and say to them: feel that?, it really is my heart! i say this because sometimes having nothing is enough. because i stare at campfires long after everyone else has gone to sleep. i say this because i can't help but believe in magic. because i love the smell of women's hair. i say this because my chest is tight and i have trouble breathing. because last night's dream was a medley of all my worst moments. i say this because Ashley exists. because i can say anything at all to Mona. because i am more than the hair i am losing. because my soul is not confined to my chest.brain.fingertip - because my soul is everywherething i wish i was. i say this because i have heard Brahms' requiem. i say this because i have been here before (i have time travelled). because of winter. i say this because i'm not done kissing breasts. because i'm not done crashing cars. because i'm not tired of being sick. because i'm still scared of heights. because i'm not invincible. because my memories can go screw themselves. i say this because i haven't met you yet, and named our children. i say this because i stretch. i say this because i've another dance in me. because i have to put together mom's TV stand. because i have more keys to lose. because this is not a game to win and lose.

i say this because i'm scared.don't wanna be done.

tomorrow:
____we try again. (again) (again) (again) (again) (again) (again) (again) (again) (again) (again) (again) (again) (again) (again) (again) (again) (again) (again) _ (again) _(again) _(again)_ (again) _(again) _(again) _(again) _(again)_ (again) _(again)__ (again) ___(again)____ (again) _______(again)