short-story

__- i have to go.
__- yes.
__- i really do.
__- i know. go; _you need to study.
__-_ study. _,_yes.
__-___yes.

[eye meets eye. they kiss some more. he's holding the sides of her head with both hands, fingers like the roots of a tree in her hair. with a sigh it ends.]

__- but i do.
__- you should.
__- yes. __right. veryright.

[he stares off at nothing in particular across the street somewhere]
__- you ok?

______hello?

__- hiya babyface. [he smiles]
[she smiles]

_____here we go again.


*___*___*

i can say this because i am me. because i am broke because i am addicted to books and lonely because i am addicted to skin and hungry because i live off amphetamines and coffee and cough-drops. because every time i put my hands in my pockets my fingertips are sandy and because my eyes are darkish-blue puff balls that look like large flies and because my dad refuses to give up his dream of me and my sister's the first one to get locked up. because my car makes odd noises and all the lights on the dash are possessed so they light-up for no reason and the moon is in a different spot every night and last time i looked up it was yesterday dinner. i say this because time is fragmented and every now and then i notice something and then i am gone again and one moment i am in a car kissing and the next i am in a library studying and the one after i am sitting on the grass and have no idea who dressed me and where my shoes are. i can say :

it'll be fine.
__we'll work it out.
___(eventually.


*___*___*

__- maybe if you don't look at me.
__- what?
__- if i look at you i have to kiss you.
__- how's that my fault?
__- it's not.

[she looks away. pretending to be annoyed. some hair falls across her cheek. he leans in close, and rests his forehead against her ear. she turns a little. they open their mouths and breathe each others air]


*___*___*

it's morning.

____someone with blonde hair is smiling at me, have you had lunch yet wanna gr

the coffee in my hand is trembling. it is making my hand shake too. i should return it.


___i'm sitting in a car. __i gotta go. _study.

it's morning ______________it's saturday i'm dusting my piano

have you eaten?
no.
when'd you last eat?

____________i'm late.

the library is warm. __when i leave it's cold and i don't know where my car is.

____stop being silly Q, that was yesterday!
_really?)

__it's dark.
it's light.
_in the car. _i remember setting my bag down. __(coffee. _late. _cold. _silly yesterday Q!

it's morning.
_when'd you last eat?

___blonde hair. _still looking at me. _what?, sorry sosorry, i missed that-

___________i'm late. _______the library is cold.


in the car. ___gotta go sweetie. yesyes..

___________it's a purple coloured book. __shelf. ___library.

it's morning?
_stop being silly Q, that was yesterday!


*___*___*

__- i'm not going to open my eyes.
__- uuhm. ok.
__- this is the only way. i just have to get out with my eyes closed.
__- yes. i don't want to keep you from your study.
__- yes. __what i'll do, i'll just get out.
__- right.
__- right. __yes. __ok. __uhm; bye.
__- _...bye.
[they kiss. _they stop. _he turns his head, _opens cardoor. _it's cold.

his eyes are closed.

__here we go again.

_