Ophelia- and other women who couldn't float (a complete waste of time in seven parts with intro & comments)

by här e christian


INTRO:
take a few words with you before you go ; i can't tell what good they'll do you, but they disappear with time and said aloud won't linger past the hour-mark. some stick, sure, anomalies, but here's hoping you won't get struck by any toothpick-sized lighting tonight.


(!1)
LA is a city the size of your car.
time is measured in traffic: a randomized god made of broken-down wrecks,
closed lanes, flouro cones. sirens. a hundred motionless beasts huffing.
__i kiss her on the cheek, and push my lips deep into her cheek, and get out the car.


(2_ :videotape: _)
a dusty yellow couch. in a room with a balcony we hardly ever sat on. double doors with a red curtain. tiled fireplace. dark haired white skin yellow eyed, and ten-thousand stars of the stardust of your hair , the beach - still with no waves. dark. submerged, staring at the moon, even with the moon out i was severed across the torso, a white arm and head the only things left :: my cat's name was Molly ; i ran because the schoolbus was late and parked in the wrong spot on the wrong side of the intersection and i knew everyone would be worried i got off and ran and tripped and the puddle was soo deep i've never been wetter :: in a dark cinema, i couldn't believe where my hands were going and her only leaning back and closing her eyes and oh my gg :: not this song, i can't hear this song ever again she said sadly as she stared out the window, and i couldn't look at her, i stared out another window, and leafed through my book. and the sherut kept going :: 10 straight Q, get 10 straight from the free-throw and we go in, :: the black of pianos, god-damn this muffin is the size of my head [she laughs] :: on the phone i cried and couldn't even understand how big this was, you have tiny hands Mar you know that? :: this is what we do, this is what we do, this is what we did :: the CD cover was a scarlet red. .. ... .... ....., :: Prague in the winter with the snow and my Cons wet with white sticking to the laces and my feet soo cold and sleeping on the floor and coughing and sneezing and hoping :: my grandfather's tie around my neck, and the picture of my dad in my cot with me in just a diaper in my pocket :: a sunday smile :: i sit in the dark office with Justin Manners and we laugh <<>> she smokes outside, sitting on Sahar's green swing, holding a mug of tea, and i can't tell if she's exhaling smoke or steam, and i stand by the wall in a jacket cold staring at her :: and here at last, i have soo much faith in you she says, a year ago she'd ended a conversation with i'm not worried about you, which had made me feel equally good, he's always happy when i'm around she says half-jokingly and i nod, it's true, and i think I am hidden, but I cast light upon his hidden place, i kiss her on the cheek, and push my lips deep into her cheek, and get out the car.


(..3am)
hello again you are soo dark. i hear the fan despite my headphones.
the computer screen lights up my fingers i can see the cracks in my skin.

there might be dreams somewhere. if i slept more i'd know them better. (i miss butterflies. i should dream more often of butterflies) ,, i shake my head, try and understand how quiet and dark it is, and the fan on my legs and i wear Eman's Harvard tshirt which makes me feel stupid even in my sleep but i wear it anyway and i think to myself how the phrase 'how strange the sound' applies to the whole of everything (as if 'sound' were a concept that could embody everything) (and between you and i, i am soo mistaken, soo confused, soo dizzy, that i think it does).

+-+-+-+-+-+-+ this fence is here for now +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

but now is much smaller than forever. and now disappears immediately and forever is always 20 minutes later.


(4))
- q. you've lost me. i'm sorry, i.. . i don't know what you're saying.
- [he smiles sadly] it's ok. i... even i don't know what i'm saying.
- no!, please, i care - i want to understand.
- [he shrugs] what is a myself and where can i get one?
- wh what?


[5a)
it won't rain for a long time. it is all summer now. more or less 9 months of it if i can get through this i'll give birth to Helios himself i am not looking forward to all the sweat i don't have enough in me for it (maybe i just need to drink more water).


[5b)
and now is ok.
and now
is ok
now is ok
is
and.

is. (right?)


(.6.)
___i'm going to kiss your breasts.


(7 everything else:


COMMENTS:
CASPER SAYS: q, i have no idea what you're saying... you've completely lost me.

CARLY92 SAYS: just for all the folks out there reading this, i know Q. he's a strange person and a terrible kisser. epic person-fail. i actually fail-blogged him.

MOTHMAN: i agree with carly92. q and i had sex once in the back of a taxi driving around bangkok while conversing with the taxi driver about Pericles and sharing a lamb kebab, and he was wack.

LU SAYS: i like yours very much. look at my blog also, i hope you like it it is about me.

nOt YO tYpIcAl Bit$ch!! SAYS: omg ur awesome. fb me sometime? (ps not to be weird, but, whose helios and how can you give birth?)