fragments

because i can't sleep. or don't.
and find myself staring , at ... my bookshelf , piano , skinny girls' long legs and large white feet

and it grows dark, then light again. someone asks well? and i stare back, no nothing yet.


*___*___*

i had bought two tickets. through luck or timing or temperament i could not locate a date. screw it i went alone. and sat besides a ghost who judged me the whole time. at first i sensed no one listening to Stravinsky, i could feel people in the stalls staring at me and the empty ocean besides me. by Jeu du Rapt i had settled into the sound and darkness of the auditorium.

a decade later, we clean a room that's to serve a serve as our office. there's forests of paper to sort and throw out before we can see enough of the carpet to vacuum. there's plastic cups and motivational quotes all over the place. i find a bundle of papers clipped together and i take them to a quiet corner and sit down smiling. Q?, where are you?, you ok?
yahyah i say back. i'm fascinated that the cover of this bundle reads:

______REPORTS OF INTERNATIONAL
______ARBITRAL AWARDS

______RECUEIL DES SENTENCES
______ARBITRALES


______S.S. I'm Alone (Canada, United States)

something about that freezes me so i can't look away.
someone sneaks up behind me,__ oh, you found the I'm Alone case. good we were looking for that!, hey guys, Q found it.

_____