nocturne

even with the lights off there must be people awake .

there's not a thing i can do about it, i must leave _(

but i'm not interested in photos of all that , why do you insist on showing me again ?

__)

so we sat in silence for a while, and this settled me.

in my perfect world where i live when i fold my skin up and run away into late-night-lonelinesses every kisses are first kisses ;

and when something's gone wrong you can start again

and old men dream of daisies too.

__(of everyone you have my youth , you alone ;
__hidden away somewhere with your other scraps and papers.

__while the rest of us make do with the old man )

_____(who dreams of daisies too , but what of it , it was redder then)

i console my sister by telling her how long it takes to grow roots into a place ,

i'm distracted by distance(s)

me to you i once knew as a physical constant

spiritual certainty

_. . . _one hour's certainty is another's (__?_)

i wished i could cry into your chest

one day i'll feel better about walking into packed rooms wearing just myself

i ask my sister who will die first and she says she still doesn't know , but she's working on it

maybe you're the only person who's seen me be young in years _( you'd agree with that you'd probably like it)

but even you know it's dimming. __your eyes are sweeter to compensate

thinking of no one in particular i think: we'll dance one day my dear

delicate as lace and tender as memory , barely touching

of all my misunderstandings how i miss this one most.

there was once a time i could grasp things firmly

but when somethings go they take more than you expect with them

so now i'm colourblind

dance only when my back's against the wall .

when you next leave me i'll be ancient.

__( i'm sorry i missed my chance to be a sailor )

i tell my dad a story and he asks me to forgive him , i wrap the memory up and forget it for him

no young man can do that.

it's too hot to drive let's swim instead i suggest.

you stole three of my books but gave me three first kisses i still can't decide if we're even.