round here.

untitled by xixi cao



i walk in the lights are off. __the lights are off and it's quiet. __(just what i wanted it).

so heavy. 


___*___*___*

my tie's half done, flapping outside my vest. i never got through taking it off. one shoe's still on. one of my sleeve buttons open. a trail of papers falling out of my briefcase from door to bed from trying to get my keys at the door.


___*___*___*

it's too late.

for everything.

already.


___*___*___*

there's never an open grocery store i haven't eaten in days.

i had to choose between the dry cleaning and the grocery. __can't carry both.

i wonder if there was another me how i'd carry us both.

(and if there wasn't, how much heavier it might be to just carry ... ___me)

_________(does anyone even know anything heavier?)


___*___*___*

______may came home with a smooth round stone
__ ____as small as a world and as large as alone. []



___*___*___*

in the dark ___ all these words carved in the walls ___i can hear them
calling to be called.

names or daffodils ,

dreams i'd 


___*___*___*

slouched by the bed. it's nice. the floor, it's nice to remind yourself it's there. i feel like i'm falling too frequently much always. ___but here, hello floor. i like you so much. soo much. ___i wish you knew how much. __you'd like me too , if you knew. if you knew you probably would i think.

nice to imagine there's a stop point, end of the sentence, time's up, burger's finished so are the fries.

the closet door is slid open. half the coat-hangers are on the ground. they don't fit properly. they jam every morning i get angry and knock a few more down. ______each time i think i hear.feel a rib break.


___*___*___*

is there anything you need to say to me? she asks as she's rushing out. no judge. she stares back at me a few seconds surprised. i'd usually hand her a giggle or a well-wish or a slightly sweetened second. ______o k. ___see you tomorrow then. ______half a minute has morphed out of shape. yes judge. good night. _________i sound hollow. sound coming out of a pipe-smoked-tree.


___*___*___*

my god. 
mon dieu. 

it occurs to me. 


i'm going to set fire to something soon. 


___*___*___*

in other lives there might be solutions , or problems.

round here it's just time.

just time.

the short and long of it.

crammed into a box and stretched on a rack.


Nothing , . round . here


______here.


no   ______,here
thing.