why i am not writing

it takes an ocean not to break ,













untitled by mexico rosel


i can't tell you about it.

it's too repetitive. too typical. i'm actually ashamed of myself. disgusted. i can't look myself in the mirror. __again. again? (why can't you get it right Q? why can't you?

i can't tell you about it. i spend a lot of time wishing i didn't know anyone - and then there'd be no danger of blabbing


___*___*___*

PLAYLIST

staircase, radiohead
april in paris, ella fitzgerald & louis armstrong
vladimir's blues, max richter
nightcall, kavinsky & lovefoxx


___*___*___*

i can't engage with it. __it's like needing to sneeze or cry and not being able to.
consequently i just sort of... am. ___i'm just there. _don't know how or why . but i just find myself places.


___*___*___*

___& i hate myself for it.


___*___*___*

if i let myself whisper a word of it i'll be over.

not a word not a word.

(it really does,
really does


___: an ocean not to break.