poem.

these are wordless thoughts
movements behind curtains
things i cannot shape,
distortions

___*
i still have a pencil from high school
the one i used during final exams
i'm too superstitious to write with it - sometimes i hold it
maybe it remembers me

___*
the moment i was born,
she handed me a balloon. 
it's your soul she said,
keep it safe she said - __she said
it will remind you which way is up
until your wings grow.

*
in 31 years i have forgotten french and physics ;
many things ,
continents.
books and books sit on my shelf,  heavy and empty.

___*
he was right, my dad:
everything that matters in this life is not of it.

measureless. timeless. __dreamstuff and spookstuff. 

___*
lost
and every minute more losing.

meaningless rhythms of flustered fools
full of sound and fury,
traffic noise, sun's glare, spam mail:

___*
there's a left somewhere i missed

sometimes i glance up
maybe there's a balloon that knows physics, speaks french
remembers the smell,
the feeling of ___, the possibility

remembers how to hold hands 

___(really you can't?
___ i can't.
___ try it she says, she takes me hand
___ i cringe, look away
___ oh my god! she says ,
___ she says you can't even look at my face! )

___*

Berg's violin concerto is
written in a language
i cannot translate.

hieroglyphs and dead-language spasms
of a foreigner 

___*
you scare me when you're like this she says
'but i am so calm...'
she says you're not even here q, i don't know where you are ,
i don't know where you are she says, you're not here
you're not here she says
she says you're not even here

___*
undiscovered star
silent oceans of fire
invisible inferno

enough night can smother anything.

___*
each day i walk in , walk out.
45 minutes each way.
tides.
mountain ranges of minutes.
markless footsteps on unimportant roads.

heat and hallucinations,
___The hope only 
___Of

___*
beautiful truths,
truthful beauties : 

measureless. timeless. __dreamstuff and spookstuff. 

wordless distortions

collected silences

___The hope only 
___Of


___**