desire. (an unsatisfactory notapoem). (a half-hearted thing)

its unavoidable now - here, look, see that? did you?
___it pulsates across the surface
its song hums off the train tracks -
__the shape of the clouds trees patches of sidewalk stained Monday morning buildings -
hums, hums that damn song,

every time she says, every time is also the sum of all the ones before,
packs a lot of punch into such a small increment:
___a black hole dense every dollar first-kiss trophy award 3-point swish
redeems every fail before, accelerates every rush

i think of all the nights i stayed up seeing red behind my eyes while i couldn't sleep,
thinking of things i didn't dare dream about: could i, if only i could, if only me
if only it were possible, could i, if only



under my skin i can feel it , the heat of it. ___miniature futures growing fingertips
___new somethings.
i pierce my fangs into an apple. ___into sunny Sundays. ___into the new season of, ___distractions;
hoping to be relieved of it,

yield bitch. yield. 

the stone of it remains. ___unavoidable.
filling shoes. ___occupying minutes. ___dying clothes.

to want. ___the pain of it