things it's time i said

Goodbye Danny, originally uploaded by sMacshot.

___things i want to say out-loud, A LIST:
____-fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.... [sigh]

___things i don't know how i'm going to manage, A LIST:
____- this week
____- the next six months
____- the next 3 years
____- the rest of my life
____- people's chatter
____- going back. being back. having to stay back
____- all the noise
____- sitting in cars with people asking me questions and me not being able to walk away

___places i'd rather be right now, A LIST:
____-
____-
____-___(what difference does it ever make?)

___things i know for certain, A LIST:
____-
____-
____-
_______(and gravity

___people i'm going to miss not having near, A LIST:
____-
____-
____-
_______(and surprisingly, since i rarely see them - jamjam and susie.


*__*__*

when i was 16, i first had a vision, an acute dream of myself, as a middle-aged man, having ruined his life, slouching into the corner of a large house he was alone in, staring idly away with reddish eyes, and bopping slowly left and right like a fiend dancing at an OD funeral.

i feel one year closer that that.
__(i wish i didn't know where it was going to end

____(gol, monz: it wasn't the year of miracles afterall. just the same as the last... minus the good things)