Sunday, February 8, 2009

some polyphony (nonesense)

Counterproductive, as you realize once again

That the longest way is the most efficient way,
The one that looped among islands, and
You always seemed to be traveling in a circle.

____John Ashbery

untitled, .littlegirlblue

and here is the challenge, identified at last:
the big void of silence, and me to decide how to fill it,
how to expand into it, so that my skin
and its skin are one and merge peacefully (like ocean to sand),

finally clouds, and birds flapping too far away to be heard,
voices that exist inside telephones that never rang again, letters your fingers only touched once,
dreams that existed as perfect mutes (but to me sounded soo loud and soft
and within them anything was possible)

gravity of course, which creeps up from soil and tree-roots and the hot-air reflecting off too-pale sidewalks to grab at ankles and pulls down the sweat from my brow, all the things landing in the gutter besides names and pieces of papers with phone-numbers and love letters and exclamation marks, and

i want to say everything that exists in just one soo small (solitary) moment that makes a day a day, and heartbeats are such small things no one ever notices them, and seconds are soo small that no one counts, and glances and smiles, and the lack thereof, and the contracts fingertips form that hurt soo much in the end, and all those moments we live(d) and re-live(d) in our quiet quiet silent silent mute mute minds,

my whole me inside myself is such a quiet place. just the murmur of muscle tapping its head against the inside of my chest, from faraway the sound of chewing as i obliterate a piece of gum,
the sound of cars and people laughing soo soo far away,

time is the farthest thing between two people.
time is the farthest thing between two people.
time is the farthest thing between two people.

(and there is no coming back from that distance)

(how strange the sound)
(this silence)
(how strange the sound:

this distance.

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