cadenza: a letter to monz

____something opens our wings

________Rumi















untitled, [brett walker]


dear znoM,

the thing is i don't know you see... it's not apparent to me. soo many things aren't, and this is one of them. i lack any sense of subjectivity, only that i sense internal (dis)pleasure.

i want to say some things, but first i want to sit here quietly with you for a while. and not say them. i want to not have to say them. i don't want to say them at all.



[removed by the author an hour after writing]




thankyou for the notebooks. they're a beautiful color. the CDs you first made me are that color. i wonder if you knew that. if that's why you picked them. in any case. i like that amongst the battered black volumes of notebooks that brood together in the corner of the second-last shelf of my bookshelf, there will be three delicate scarlet-leaves. 'yes' and 'yes' and 'yes' i'll call them. yes, come here. yes indeed i agree. yes to everything.

only now, i have to find a story for them. one that is a little bit bigger than we are. than i am anyway. it is all soo yesterday.

i'm not making any sense.

(maybe that's the problem i'm not aware of).

with thanks and greatest much love
q