now. (an orgasm)

(1)
i feel like iz on.

(2)
if i clench my jaw, close my eyes, i can will spectacle to seep from the air. [smiles deliciously]

(3)
it's ok to feel footless. without bottom or footing. floating. fleeting.
if you must know, your soul has no need for foundation.

(4)
turn the music up. _run faster. _have another. _die later.

(5)
caring is a thing i don't care to do.

(6)
some nights, for no reason at all_ ... _it must be music that induces it, or the scent of heavy artificially heated air, motionless objects and their anchored shadows, _i __s_w_o_o_n. _for no reason at all. my body tingles with a strange pleasure. (must be the music) (and the shapes of) (and i am not feeling at all, no feelings, just this... medley of sensation) it is soo massive. soo huge. i feel too alive(never alive)(gone)(soo far gone)(always soo far gone)soo rooted. it is soo wonderful.

(7)
dear alleverything:
i have discovered i cannot swallow you whole. so i must pick at you. one leaf mandarin little-girl at a time.

(8)
if i close my eyes i can dance on the inside without moving. it is the strangest (non)sensation.

(9)
hi. wanna talk?

(10)
eventually everything will matter more and not-at-all simultaneously. convergence. where shadows meet the bulb. shaking hands as hello and goodbye simultaneously. event horizons.

(11)
almond meal pancakes with molasses and honey. eggs. tea. on skype my sister stares at me and shakes her head: you're still an idiot. we laugh. (hi life. welcome back.

(12)
i turn my car off. Q, remember, you actually don't care about any(one(thing. screw them.it.all.everything. i feel soo much lighter.

(13)
we take the wrong turn. come out the wrong side. on the bridge but headed the opposite way. there is fire above the bridge. a sunken sun, diving headfirst into tomorrow. too many colours, it hurts a little. wow. i'm glad we got it wrong. he nods y_eah.