the hague at 2:37am

___may my mind stroll about hungry
___and fearless and thirsty and supple
___and even if it's sunday may i be wrong
___for whenever men are right they are not young

_________ee cummings









saturday afternoon iphotography by me


THINGS - AN I-CAN'T-SLEEP-LIST:

(1) i have found the perfect musical representation of a panic attack / ADD-freakout-what-the-eff-am-i-doing-where-how-what-here-is-this. also it's the highlight of my day. it's 2am, so clearly i mean the highlight of my yesterday, which is still technically attached to my today because i haven't slept yet and so it's just one long freaking won't-ever-end-ness-es thing.

modeselektor & thom yorke - shipwreck <-- click on that to lose your mind.


(2) also on the listening-menu:

__+ the jezebels - dark storm ep
__+ atlas sound - parallax (parallax is my favourite word. so i'm glad the album is actually awesome) (otherwise i'd be upset) (and no one would care and i'd have no one to tell). (thankfully this sad fate has been avoided)
__+ massive attack vs burial - four walls <-- if you have an eargasm listening to that then email me, we're going to be friends.


(3) my list of current interests includes:
- my BMI
- carrot-fit trousers. preferably in wool.
- whether or not to grow a beard. (i'm thinking something like this.) (this one takes up lots of my mental time at the moment)
- yes i did include my body-mass-index on my current interests list.
- why i plan every night to come straight home from work (via a 2 hour gym session) and pray and still somehow manage to evade it even though it's actually the . only . thing i feel like i want to do.
- missing my dad.
- planning on how to escape every single where except for NY. (unless Oxford decides to accept me in the next year or two). (if i decide to apply).
- whether my war criminal will be acquitted or not.


(4) yes i can't sleep. that's obvious. it's not new. it's unexplained. i took a pill last night i don't want to take one tonight because then that would be similar to taking one every night and that's not cool.


(5) say what you will, agree or disagree, you gotta admit the red queen looks like a fascinating read. if i (a) could be bothered to turn on the lights and find my wallet and type out the little numbers and (b) could reconcile how i intend to persuade Qantas to let me take all the extra weight back onto the plane, i'd be ordering it right now.


(6) i use path. i love path. it's like my BFF social-connectivity-thingamajigee right now.


(7) i think it's important to have chocolate chips in my (otherwise rabbit-food) muesli breakfast cereal. waking up to a perfectly nutritious breakfast somehow induces... well it makes me despondent.


(8) it is imperative that i enjoy my weekend. really, i can't stress this point enough. if i have a bad saturday it will be the end of q-as-we-know-him. with this in mind, i'm trying to decide whether to go on a day-trip with others, or just pick a place and gallivant solo-dolo. i'm thinking the latter. additionally it means i can shop. for some reason shopping (and optimizing my BMI) seem to be the only things that make me happy this month.


(9) when people realize that i'm not going home to Aus. for christmas they give me this sad face like it's the end of the world. i don't understand this. i don't like christmas, and australia is 3 days travel from here. plus i still kinda hope it's going to snow lots and lots and i'm going to go get lost and pretend it's in a cloud and fall in love with a tree and kiss its trunk silently and never be seen ever again THE END.


(10) tthhiiss is actually the same recording of Bach's tocatta and fugue in d minor i used to listen to as a kid. it only took 25 years to find it again. (and of course it's Karl Richter <-- which probably means nothing to anyone, but if ever there was Big Pimpin to be had on a pipe-organ this is tha dude that would be doing it)


(11) 3:04 a m .


(12) i'm gonna try sleep. part III now.